We stood under the archway, Eilon, Beau and Elvira already at the court yard. I stood back , not out of fear but suspicion. Either the people here are stupid or coincident and as much I it pained me to admit they are probably the latter. I then noticed Gwena. She had been practicing leaning on me, it the closest we had been proximity wise for a week. She seemed….dazed, like she went for a pint (or 12) and it hit her harder than expected. I admit I was tempted to leave her to her devices…but that would be petty, she is an ally. No matter what the issue or problem might be, we in the same boat so if one has a problem we all do, the eagles taught me that. I turned to her and gently poke her shoulder, it takes a bit for her to respond, what ever is here seems to be hitting her harder than the rest of us. When I am confident she knows I am there I speak “ look” I start hesitantly “I understand that we have some problems, but you clearly not ok and if need be you can go, no judgement “ she takes a second to respond and what starts as gibberish soon morphs into “ i realize I may have been to harsh with you… a lot has happened and it was also fresh” she trails off. I stood there frozen. Gwena was what? Apologizing? What the shit was this? Was it a trick? No one just changes their mind that quick. Even after a week. My eyes start to narrow and shoulders tense. I go to say something but freeze. Gwena seemed so small in that moment, more vulnerable? No more …sincere. It reminded me of something Bess used to say. 

Flashback start (that right you getting extra)

I was punching a tree, not unusual, but this time I had a good reason this time. The twins in their infinite fucken wisdom decided it was a good idea to play darts with daggers, specifically my dagger, and it broke at the hilt. Now I wouldn’t mind to much….if it wasn’t my first dagger I ever got. That thing had been with me since I was a fucken kid and they broke it playing a stupid fucken game. “You gonna murder every tree when you get mad “ I stop as my fist all most makes it contact with the tree again. I turn and she Bess,shit eating grin in place , leaning against another tree. “You know it was an accident right , they didn’t know it was so important to you” she continues. I scoff as I turn back to the tree and continue hitting it. Bess pushes off the tree “ you didn’t have to rip there head off you know? They said they would replace it” I respond still hitting the tree “ only after they did it, after I confronted them about it.” I rant continuing to hit the tree “ and replace it? Please when have they ever stuck to their word. Just the twins being the twins as always “. Bess listens and is quiet for a bit. She eventually says “ You don’t gotta worry about that shit here you know…. No one gonna hurt ya here”. My focus breaks and my knuckles pops out of place as I skim the tree. I hiss and put it back in place. I than turn back to Bess “the fuck are you on about “ she stares at me for a while and softly sighs before walking off but not before saying “just saying some people mean what they say, and some might surprise you…just gotta have a little faith “ and she walks off leaving me there in a daze

Flashbacks ends

Bess was right of course. 3 days later a new dagger was on my bedroll in camp. No clue where they got it but it was custom, simple straight edge with a red lather wrapped handle and helgir symbol stitch in it. That things lasted me till I broke it off in some assholes leg a couple weeks ago…still have the hilt tho. as I go to respond to Gwena,  I remember Bess’s words again and I  look at Gwena, she seems genuine and I tired of being on edge, so maybe I try Bess way…maybe I have some faith